Lollies at school.
I think that we should be allowed to have lollies in our School. Lollies are sweet like honey and There is three reasons why we should be allowed to bring lollies.
I think that we should be allowed to have lollies in our School. Lollies are sweet like honey and There is three reasons why we should be allowed to bring lollies.
Reason one, Imagine us dying on the inside can you imagine sucking on that sweet sweet lollipop MMMMMMMMMMMM!
Reason two, when I am in class I just want to have a lollie “Well if you know what I mean” do you know what I mean?
In Summary, I Think that we should be able to have lollies in our school. I think this because lollies are delicious and it isn’t fear that we aren’t allowed to bring lollies.
Come on people Please let Tautoro School be allowed to Have a lot of lollies.
My next learning steps are:
Be independent at structure
Use emotive words
Add more supporting detail
Kia Ora Te Hanah, what an amazing story you have posted up on your blog, I can see that you have usen a lot of descriptive words like, Come on people let Tautoro School be allowed to bring lollies to our School. You are an great author especially for a student who is still learning. How you can Improve, How can you improve you tell me, You have great inputs, great detail and awesome structure, all you need to improve on is, right in front of you, just your Emotive Words, Independent in language structure not just structure and more supporting detail. Ka Pai to mahi Kotero.
ReplyDeleteHarmony